Letter 2

Hi Alanna,

My ideas usually come when I’m on the bus, just dissociated enough that my thoughts can become a whole and coherent world. When the physical momentum changes, often the ideas become confused, or get replaced by whatever thoughts fit in with the new speed and rhythm of my body or senses. I find the perception of futility to be helpful, sometimes. But then, I spent most of my life trying to make no mark on anything, because I could not risk any further markings being made on me.

I like your shared blog idea. I like the idea of a communication where ideas and patterns grow and proliferate into something that is neither of the physical communicators. I have this idea of talking being a person, and when you talk, it is necessary to think about what kind of verbal/non-verbal person is being made by the combined words of the talkers. So that eventually, if everyone is paying attention, it is the talking that is the talker. I’m working on devising a text adventure that will take place via the postal service, to play with these ideas.

I think it would be a good discipline, as you said. I am more willing to mark things now than I used to be. But I’m still a fan of pointlessness and apparent failure. I haven’t been paying as much attention to the news since coming to America. I think the idea that being informed makes me a good/engaged/caring citizen wasn’t helpful, because all I can do about most awful things is feel paralyzingly despairing about them. I read a good article in a magazine called n+1 entitled ‘against the rage machine’. I find if I have a focus for markings before I start with all the content, then I don’t need to pay attention to most of the content until it begins to become relevant to the broadening marks. And if I have the marks, then I have a life raft and I have a hope of not drowning in the vitriol of rich and fearful suit-wearers.

Anyway, I’d like to keep talking about this. I’ve had the flu this week – I spent today sleeping and eating liquorice – so my brain is odder than usual. It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m sorry to hear about your driving fine.